Tuesday, June 3, 2014

What the hell am I doing?

In my first pregnancy I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG); essentially very severe morning sickness.  Unlike some women, I have never needed to be hospitalized for this, but I have become severely dehydrated a few times and had to go in and receive IV fluids.

I've got five kids in spite of this.  I refuse to let my life and reproductive choices be ruined by HG.  I've always taken the viewpoint that it's a tiny bit of my life, and a tinier bit of theirs.

It's worth it, in other words, to get a baby at the end.

The HG is no better this time around.  If anything, it's been worse.  And I'm going through it, and I'm not going to get a baby at the end.

What the hell am I doing this for?

Really, I can understand the women who choose not to continue their pregnancy if there's not going to be a live baby at the end of it.  It's actually a lot of time and effort and pain to put into something futile.

I'm not sure why I'm here, other than it's the right thing to do.

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